unedited and raw

I think its when people think their being nice that it hurts the most you know like how the fuck does it become ok to tell someone that their the best of both worlds based on your assumptions of them as a transwoman,ive always been invisible hell ive spent most of my life actively encouraging it but that leaves me in a strange place the strangest feeling ive had since the day i came out is when does this actually become about me ,when does this actually become about my life and my need to survive and hopes and deams it seems everyone has a vested interest in trans lives these days and none of it is actually about me as a person every where i turn there are badges saying that theyll go to the toilet with me and yet those wearing the badges would write me off as masculine or genderqueer because im wearing jeans and a hoody im still excluded from womens spaces because……and any space i am allowed access to quickly becomes an argument about including trans femmine and….but its never actually about me a woman

Even those that would claim to be radical will only include me on their terms and those terms are non negotiable because if i fight to loudly or stand my ground in a manner wich is to confronting then i am assigened the trope of crazy angry trans girl everywhere i turn my womanhood is denied and i am never allowded to forget that i  am trans

So heres the thing that prefix is mine not yours it is a way marker for me to describe the journey of enacting my womanhood in this world it is five letters that i wear boh as a scar and as a medal to remind you that i am here i am not going anywhere and all the weight you nring to bear on me will not break me it will not bow me i dont want your inclusion,i dont want your allyship i dont need your missionary like handwringing as you stand before me dejected and forlorn because i reject the place you offer me ive said it before i am not authentic i am real and i do not need your validation for there are those that will take me as i am.

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~ by xpolx on November 24, 2016.

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