bimbling manicly

See it’s all about whatever the hell you do with it that elusive whatever? Well its still elusive but damn i’m having one hell of an adventure trying to find it…..small dogs low and busy maxing out the winter sun which is making my heart sing and split and tear and heal so fast sometimes i feel dizzy,so i’m giving up i don’t really know what on but i can feel all that letting go happen, ive never been so alive this deep into the change of years but whatever all the questions are pointless,sure i could scream and shout and retch myself hoarse on the hurt,but i don’t know how to do that and i’m too fucking old to learn now so i just roll,everything smells sharp and i’m alive you know that excited at everything type alive the kind of child like invincibility that so many people give up on and then lament telling themselves  that’s what growing up is,or whatever

 

…hell what would i know i’m a 6ft queer trans girl whose 42 going on 17 and all i can hear is the banjo and all i can feel is the january sun on my back and the wheels turning underneath me and the world in all its contradictory beauty
…hehehehe one day i’ll write something coherent but till then imma just feel it all and be alive

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~ by xpolx on January 5, 2017.

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